Tweek Goes to the Therapist
by orangerachel
Summary: Tweek is in therapy because of his fear of underpants gnomes and has to do different tests to make him calmer. Will it work?
1. Puzzle

**A/N**

**Ok, so this is my first fanfic. So, uh, yeah. My friend minionsofthenachoarmyunite helped me write this cause she's awesome like that.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.**

**UPDATE: (3/30/13) I just decided to fix the grammar and re-phrase some parts! No content changes!**

**Enjoy! :)**

**~.~**

"Ok, Tweek, your first exercise is to complete this 500 piece puzzle."

Tweek twitched. Though this wasn't an uncommon occurrence, the therapist was still growing very annoyed. He had been making great progress.

"GAH! THAT'S WAAAY TO MUCH PRESSURE!" Tweek screeched.

"The faster you finish this, the faster you get out of therapy!"

That statement made him think back to last Wednesday. The underpants gnomes had stolen his last pair of underwear; and when he tried to tell his parents, they were _NOT_ amused. The next thing he knew, he was here.

"Just do the puzzle already!"

"NO!"

"Tweek…"

"FINE!"

Tweek picked up one of the pieces and stared at it.

"Good, continue…."

He then picked up another puzzle piece and attempted to put two pieces together. Unfortunately for Tweek, they didn't fit.

"GAH! WHY AREN'T THEY FITTING?" The blonde screamed, severely twitching.

"…Because those two aren't supposed to go together, Tweek." the therapist said patiently, but with a slight hint of irritation in his voice.

Tweek tried again, but to no avail. This made the therapist facepalm.

"Like _this_…" the therapist said, picking up two pieces and snapping them together perfectly.

Tweek looked at his therapist in awe before trying again. And again. And again_. And again_….

"GAH! IT HATES ME!"

"Tweek! No, wait…"

"THE GNOMES SET THIS UP! _IT'S THE GNOMES_!"

By this point, Tweek was flailing his arms in the air and running around in circles. The therapist tried numerous times to calm him down, but without success.

The therapist sighed in aggravation. "We'll try something else tomorrow…"

**~.~**

**A/N**

**Ok, sorry this chapter was so short, but I was just trying to sort of, ummm...like get the feel of writing, like you know what I mean (I think I'm just babbling). You can decide if you want me to continue this story or if you want me to just leave it as a oneshot. I don't really care, you can decide. If you do want me to continue, I WILL update, the chapters will (hopefully) be longer, and I already have some ideas in mind.**

**Review and stuff. All flames will be used to roast marshmallows!**


	2. House of Cards

**A/N**

**Hello peoples! So here is chapter two, and, like I promised, it is longer. So, yeah. I also updated in under a week. YAY! So, enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.**

**UPDATE: (3/30/13) Same as before, grammatical corrections. Don't mind me! :P (oh by the way, I used the word 'mosey' for the first time ever in my life in this chapter!)**

**Enjoy! :)**

**~.~**

The next day Tweek was sitting in the waiting room, wondering what his next test would be. After about five minutes, the therapist walked into the room with another person.

"Tweek, this is Randy. Randy, this is Tweek." the therapist introduced.

"GAH! MR. MARSH?" Tweek shouted, surprised.

"Hello Tweek." Randy said.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"Randy took this job to get enough money to buy…um…what did you say you were buying again?" the therapist asked.

"A Segway!" Randy exclaimed.

"O-kay then...anyway, Tweek, your next test is to build a house of cards."

_"WHAT?"_ Tweek screeched.

"Yup, and you have to use every single card in the deck." The therapist explained.

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

"It'll be alright, you can take as long as you'd like. I'll just hand you the deck of cards and…uh…Randy? Where are the cards?"

Randy nervously looked up from his solitaire and scratched the back of his head. "Oops, sorry boss."

The therapist sighed in annoyance and swiped the cards from Randy.

"Ok Tweek, _HERE_," the therapist spat, shooting a look of disdain at the middle-aged man. "…are your cards."

Tweek took the cards and stared blankly at them.

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED DO THIS? Tweek screamed, pulling out a lock of his hair.

"It's actually very simple." the therapist began. "All you do is you take some cards and stack them like this." The therapist demonstrated. "Now you try it."

Tweek picked up two cards and tried to stand them up. They just fell over.

"GAH! WHY ISN'T IT WORKING?"

"Just try again, Tweek! That was a good try; just try slanting them a little more."

Tweek tried again and unbelievably, the cards stayed up.

"OH MY GOD! OH. MY. GOD! I DID IT!" Tweek cheered.

"Great job Tweek! Now there are only 50 more cards to go!"

"WHAT!"

"Just do it the same way you did it before."

_10 hours later…_

"YES! JUST. TWO. MORE. CARDS!" Tweek excitedly screeched.

Unfortunately, just as Tweek was about to put the last two cards on…

"Boy, it sure is hot in here" Randy said to no one in particular. He then moseyed on over to the ceiling fan and turned it on.

"HERE I GO…"

All of a sudden, all of the cards blew away.

"Oh….my…" the therapist said while staring in disbelief at the pile of cards that laid between him and a severely twitching Tweek.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tweek wailed as he ran out of the therapist's office in despair. "THOSE STUPID GNOMES WON'T LET ME PASS! IT'S THE GNOMES. _AGAIN!"_

Randy and the therapist just stared at the door and remained silent. After a few long minutes, Randy broke the silence.

"Well, 'bout time for me to be hitting the old dusty trail. See you tomorrow, buddy!" Randy said as he walked out the door.

The therapist sighed. "Tomorrow, we'll try the ultimate test…"

**~.~**

**A/N**

**So I hope you liked chapter two. I will try to update in under a week again, but no promises because my teachers are like giving us TONS of homework this week. But I WILL update. Anyways, Monday is Valentine's Day so Happy Valentine's Day! Oh also, be sure to review! Thanks! :D**


	3. A Rubik's Cube and a Guest

**A/N**

**Hey people! I'm for not updating for a long time, I was grounded for two weeks, and then I was busy all of last week. Anyway, here is the last chapter to the story. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.**

**UPDATE: (3/30/13) Grammar changes and rewording. Oh, and I added an epilogue for Randy, too.**

**Enjoy! :)**

**~.~**

The next morning, Tweek sat in the waiting room with a look of despair on his face. By this point, he thought that he would never pass therapy. Tweek glanced nervously around the room, when something caught his eye. In the far left corner of the room, he saw a strange boy with messy brown hair and a shovel, reading a magazine.

Tweek stared the brunette for a moment, until he looked up from the magazine.

"Vhat are you loooking at?" the boy asked.

"NOTHING! NOTHING!" screeched Tweek.

A minute passed.

"Why do you have a shovel?" Tweek asked.

"So eef my muzzer vhas to beat me ageen, I vhould 'ave somezeeng to defend myself with. Are you 'appy now?"

Just then, the therapist walked in.

"Ok, Tweek, it's time for your appointment." The therapist stated.

"Oh! Thees leetle bastard gets to go in before me! I sought zees vhas my appointment!"

The therapist looked down at his clipboard. "Actually, Mr. uh…" The therapist double checked the name. "…Ze Mole…? You're booked for the same time…" the therapist said with an "oh shit" look on his face. "Stupid overbooking secretaries…" he muttered darkly.

"_VHAT?_ Me and zees stupeed twitchy runt 'ave ze same appointment!" Ze Mole yelled.

"GAH! I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH THIS KID!" Tweek screamed.

Suddenly, Ze Mole grabbed Tweek by the collar. "Vhat eez zat supposed to mean?" Ze Mole growled.

"Ummm…Uhhh. GAH! NOTHING!" Tweek screamed while managing to squirm out of Ze Mole's grip.

The therapist intervened. "STOP! BOTH OF YOU! LET'S GO!"

The therapist grabbed both of their ears and pulled them into the testing room.

"OW! OW! OW! OW!" cried Tweek.

"Sheet! Sheet! Sheet! Sheet!" swore Ze Mole., "Geet off me!"

The therapist, on his last nerve, roughly threw the two boys onto a couch.

"Now…." He gave them an icy look "Ze Mole, you are here for anger management. Tweek, you're here for….well, therapy."

"'e's een 'ere vor therapy…and vhat exactly does zat mean?" Ze Mole asked.

Before the therapist could even begin to answer, Tweek answered for him.

"IT'S THE GNOMES!" screeched Tweek, "THE GNOMES ARE STEALING MY UNDERWEAR BUT NO ONE BELIEVES ME!"

This confused Ze Mole even more.

"Underpants gnomes?

"YES!"

Before Ze Mole could respond, the therapist interrupted.

"Listen, I'm on a tight schedule, so can we start now?"

Before they could answer, the therapist shoved a Rubik's cube in front of Tweek.

"Ok, Tweek, your next test is to solve this Rubik's cube."

"OH NO! IS RANDY HERE?" Tweek asked while franticly looking around.

"Randy?" Ze Mole asked with a puzzled look on his face. He was ignored.

"No, Tweek, Randy isn't here. I fired him."

Tweek sighed. He was somewhat relieved hearing this news. But just barely.

"And as for you, Ze Mole," The therapist started trying to hold back a smirk "…you have do yoga."

_"VHAT?"_ Ze screamed.

"Yes." The therapist said as he led the angered boy to a yoga mat surrounded by flower-scented candles, "Have fun!"

The therapist went back to Tweek. He saw him blankly staring at the Rubik's Cube.

"Tweek?" the therapist questioned.

Tweek's eye twitched.

"Tweek..?"

"GAH! THIS IS WAAAAY TO MUCH PRESSURE! I CAN'T DO IT! I CAN'T DO IT!"The blonde yelled, chucking the Rubix cube across the room.

"Tweek, wait! You're session isn't over yet!"

Tweek ignored the man and ran out of the office in a nervous panic. The therapist face-palmed then sighed. Unfortunately, Ze Mole did not get the message that the sigh/face-palm portrayed.

"Vhat kind of therapist _are_ you?" Ze Mole said in between laughs, "Even _I_ could do better zen zat, and I like inflicting people weeth pain!"

The therapist was now pinching the bridge of his nose. "Get out…_NOW_." he said sternly.

Ze Mole, now slightly frightened, backed out of the room as quickly as he could, and left the building. Unfortunately, what he didn't notice was on his way out, he accidently knocked over one of the pretty lavender-scented candles. Within seconds, the entire building was engulfed in flames.

And thus ends the epic saga of Tweek's trip to the therapist.

**~.~**

**Epilogue:**

**Tweek:**

When Tweek returned home from therapy, his parents were not happy to hear that he hadn't passed. Eventually, though, his parents learned to accept Tweek for the way he was.

**The Therapist:**

The therapist made it out of the fire safely. Unfortunately, his office doubled as his home, so he found himself homeless after the fire. He now lives in a little cardboard box next to Kenny's house while Ze Mole rebuilds the therapy center. He sometimes plays the banjo on Saturday nights to earn extra pocket money.

**Randy: **

Randy was finally able to raise the money to buy his Segway. He now drives around town every day with his pimpin' new ride.

**Ze Mole: (in his P.O.V):**

Ze Mole was exhausted. It had been two weeks since the therapist's office burned down, and he was forced to rebuild it if he didn't want to spend the rest of his life in prison for arson. He worked every single day for 7 hours.

One night, after a long day's work, he was getting ready to go to bed. While he was changing into his nightwear, he noticed something was missing.

" 'Ay….where are my boxers?" he asked himself, looking around his room.

He then saw an army of gnomes jumping out his window, boxers in hand.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!"

**~.~**

**A/N**

**Ok, all done! Now, time to thank people!**

**Minionsofthenachoarmyunite- Maggie, thank you for editing my work and helping me through the story. You get a smiley. :D**

**AND**

**Thank you reviewers!**

**ChocolateLover- lol, I like that part, too.**

**John-SP150- Thank you for the reviews!**

**So thank you for reading and I'm out of here for now. Bye! =)**


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